Always Me Read online

Page 3

He looked down at me, his eyes filling with wanting and something else…love? Oh God, please don’t love me. It would make everything more difficult.

  My cheeks heated and I cleared my throat. “I don’t...I think...”

  I felt the swing move, and I turned back to Brett as he lowered to his knees in front of me. His eyes blazed, taking me in.

  I swallowed, licking my dry lips. “I’m not ready, Brett.”

  He sighed and placed his hands in mind but he didn’t respond.

  “I’m sorry. As much as I want...I need...I can’t. It’s too soon.” I braced myself for his reaction.

  His gaze snapped to mine. “It’s been two years, Tori.”

  “Yeah, I know that, but I can’t get over Sebastian that quickly. I still love him,” I huffed, pushing his hands off of me.

  His jaw tensed and he grabbed my hands. “I’m sorry. That was shitty of me.”

  I kissed his forehead, cupping his cheek. “No, I’m sorry. You have every right to be frustrated. You’ve been so patient with me, and Antonio loves you. I just...I can’t do this yet.”

  He leaned against my hand, closing his eyes.

  I wanted to fall in love with him. He was such a good man, but I couldn’t. If it ever got to the point of having sex with him, it would be just that...sex. I could never love him like I loved Sebastian. The man was no longer alive, and he still had control over me. He definitely ruined me for other men. I almost laughed, knowing that he would so enjoy that, but then tears welled in my eyes. “God, I miss him, Brett. I am so sorry.”

  He kissed my palm. “I know, baby girl. I wish I could take away your pain.”

  I smiled. “Just you being here helps.”

  He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and rose from his knees, holding out his hand.

  I took it, letting him help me up, and we walked slowly back into the house.

  I turned to the yard one last time and squinted, trying to make out anything that seemed out of place. Nothing moved, but the feeling of being watched still rained over me.

  ***

  I’ll find you, cochina.

  You can’t get rid of me that easily.

  I’ll haunt your nightmares, puta.

  You’re mine and you’ll always be mine.

  I startled awake, my sweat-soaked shirt stuck to my skin. Images from my nightmare pounded in my head as my heart beat. The note. Oh God, the note. Jose...his black evil eyes burned into my brain and probably would be there for the rest of my life. A sob escaped my lips, tears rolling down my cheeks.

  A cry sounded from the baby monitor. Antonio. I wiped the tears from under my eyes and took a deep breath. I had to be strong. For him. For us.

  I rose from the bed, grabbed my bathrobe, and headed down the hall. I opened the door and stopped. Brett was holding Antonio, cradling him against his chest. My heart swelled at the sight. Brett looked up and blushed when he caught me staring at him. “I’m sorry. I heard him crying,” he murmured.

  Taking a step toward them, I smiled. “Thank you.”

  He handed Antonio to me and placed his hands in his pockets. “You look like hell.”

  I felt like hell, too. I laughed lightly but shrugged, trying to come off that it was no big deal. “I had a nightmare.”

  “About Jose?”

  I sighed. “Yeah.”

  He kissed me on the forehead, letting his lips linger. Tears pricked behind my eyes. Why couldn’t I feel for him what he felt for me? He lifted his head and smiled down at me. We walked out of Antonio’s room and headed down the stairs in silence.

  “No, we are so not having spinach in our eggs,” Garrith complained.

  “What’s wrong with spinach?” Keisha tossed back at him.

  We walked into the open space, through the living room, and found Garrith and Keisha glaring at each other.

  “And so it begins,” Brett mumbled.

  I smiled and placed Antonio in his high chair. I laughed as he smacked his tray and kissed him on the forehead. Definitely inherited his lack of patience from me.

  “Impatient are we, baby boy?” Keisha crooned as she came up beside us, handing him a bottle. She tickled his belly. He laughed and squirmed, shoving the bottle in his mouth. “I can’t believe how much he looks like Sebastian,” she pointed out.

  I sighed, running a hand over his head. “You and me both.”

  “Think he’ll be tall too?” she asked.

  “I think so, and with those big brown eyes, he’s going to have women falling at his feet,” I grumbled.

  Keisha laughed. “Oh yeah. He has me wrapped around his finger already.”

  “Does he now?” Garrith asked as he took a step towards Keisha.

  She giggled and then squealed when he swatted her ass.

  “You have competition, dude,” Brett teased.

  They all laughed, and I tried to laugh along with them, but I wasn’t feeling myself that morning.

  I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. As I leaned against the counter, I took a sip from the steaming mug and watched my friends. People I met not that long ago when really, it felt like I had known them my entire life.

  Keisha sat in Garrith’s lap trying to feed him the eggs with spinach.

  He grimaced and grabbed her chin, placing a hard kiss on her lips before pushing her off of him.

  She laughed and linked her arm through mine. “You had another nightmare, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah...” I answered, sipping my coffee.

  “Did you ever see that counselor your nurse recommended?”

  “Just a couple of times, but I stopped once I moved here.” I sighed. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about my problems. I just wanted Sebastian back. Missing him from my life was hell.

  “How are things going with my brother?” she asked, changing the subject.

  “I love him like a friend, but Keisha, I can’t give him what he wants or deserves.” Fresh tears welled in my eyes.

  “He’s good for you, better than...” she paused, hesitating.

  I turned to her when she didn’t continue. “You think he’s better than Sebastian?”

  She shrugged. “With the whole Jose mess, I just think that...I...”

  Tension brewed in my belly at what she was implying. “You think if I never met Sebastian or if I’d stayed away from him then I wouldn’t have Jose after me.”

  Keisha didn’t need to reply. Chewing her bottom lip, she looked away.

  I thought a moment. “But then I wouldn’t have Antonio...”

  She smiled. “Well at least something good came out of this shit.”

  “Yeah, no kidding,” I mumbled.

  “He’s in love with you, you know.”

  I sighed, releasing myself from her, and turned around to grab another coffee. “I can’t. I’m not ready. I wish I felt for him what he feels but...”

  “Sebastian is gone, Tori.”

  “I know that!” I snapped, making Antonio cry.

  Garrith and Brett stopped their conversation and stared at us.

  I huffed and walked past the scrutiny of my friends and picked up Antonio. “It’s okay, baby. I’m sorry.” I opened the patio door and stepped outside, cradling him in my arms.

  We walked out into the early morning sun, the warm air wrapping around us. I sat down on the soft grass and placed Antonio between my legs, rubbing his back soothingly. I watched him hold his bottle in one hand and pick at the grass with the other, not having a care in the world. He giggled and cooed, chatting away in his baby talk.

  My vision blurred at the sight of him. He was perfect. Rising to his feet, he turned to me, blew some bubbles, and threw himself into my arms. To have that trust, knowing that I would catch him, was simply inspiring. Would I ever have that trust again? That one person to depend on that, no matter what happened, would always be there for me? I hoped so.

  “Hey,” Brett said from behind us.

  I looked back at him and saw him holding a blanket. I helpe
d him set it down but didn’t say anything.

  Brett took Antonio from my arms and stretched out on the blanket.

  Keisha and Garrith came out a moment later, holding cups of coffee. Keisha held one out to me. “Peace offering.”

  I smiled and took the cup from her. I knew Keisha was never a big fan of Sebastian, but she put up with him for me. “Thank you, and I’m sorry for snapping.”

  Garrith walked by us and sat on the blanket across from Antonio and Brett.

  “Is it weird that I think two hot guys playing with a toddler is a huge turn on?” Keisha whispered.

  I laughed and watched Garrith play peekaboo with Antonio. She was right. It was sexy seeing full grown men cooing and fawning over a kid. Would Sebastian have acted the same way?

  “What’s that noise?” Brett asked a moment later.

  I strained to listen, and then my eyes widened when a large black pit bull came barreling out from behind the shed.

  Chapter 5

  Jose snickered quietly to himself as he watched Malvado stalk his victims. The dog was a beast. He had trained the large pit pull years ago to fight, pretty much the same way he trained Sebastian. Throw them in a ring and don’t let them out until someone died. Sebastian and Malvado had made it out alive each time. Jose wasn’t sure if he was happy about that or not. One thing that never happened was Jose being alone in a ring with Sebastian. Though the fucker would’ve loved it, Jose wasn’t stupid. Sebastian fought dirty.

  Malvado headed towards the two men. Brett started banging a stick on the slide, trying to get the dog’s attention. Really? Was Brett fucking dumb? Malvado was a dog, not a fucking bear.

  Tori ran into the house, holding her son, as the guys took a step towards Malvado. They really weren’t too bright.

  A moment later, Tori come back out into the yard to get their attention. Jose couldn’t make out what they were saying, but Garrith and Brett didn’t look happy.

  Jose’s eyes widened as Tori approached the dog. The dog tensed, but after a couple of moments, he walked toward her and licked her face. “What the fuck?”

  He had trained him to fight. To bite first, ask questions later. The dog was supposed to be vicious. He bit Jose all of the fucking time. Why was he being nice to Tori?

  Jose watched as the guys knelt down beside her, petting the dog. Tori said something and then Garrith shot to his feet, staring his way. Jose’s stomach flipped. Garrith couldn’t see him, but he wasn’t taking the chance. He rose and skulked off silently, needing to get out of there.

  Leaving his car for the feds to find, he walked toward the motel, climbing over fallen branches and stumps. He could always steal a new getaway from the motel parking lot.

  Even though Jose watched Tori from far away, he could tell that Brett had a thing for her. Oh, that was fucking epic. Wait until…Jose stumbled and lost his footing, tripping over a branch. “Ow, shit.”

  He rubbed his shin and trudged through the rest of the woods. Finally making it to the street, he headed the couple of blocks to his motel. If Tori only knew how close he was to her. Jose smiled.

  Chapter 6

  “Holy shit, that dog’s fucking huge,” Garrith exclaimed, grabbing Antonio.

  My heart sped up. The dog stalked towards us, growling and snarling, drool running down its jowls.

  “Tori, take Antonio inside,” Garrith said firmly. “Keisha, follow her.”

  I tore my eyes away from the large dog and looked up at Garrith, but I couldn’t move.

  “Take him inside.”

  I clutched Antonio to my breast and nodded. Keisha and I headed to the patio doors. I looked back at the dog, and something familiar stirred inside. I had seen him before. My stomach dropped when I remembered where. After being kidnapped by Jose, the dog had shown up briefly. “Keisha.”

  She looked back at me as she opened the door.

  “Take Antonio.” I kissed his head and held him out to her.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, her eyes wide with fear.

  “Just take him. Please.” I handed him to her and turned back around.

  Antonio started crying. Keisha hugged him against her. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ve got you. Your mama’s nuts, but Auntie has you.”

  I wasn’t nuts. If my gut was right, then I knew exactly who this dog belonged to. I prayed that I could calm him down.

  I headed back to where Garrith and Brett stood and watched as the dog took another step toward them. Brett banged a stick on the slide, trying to get the dog’s attention, while Garrith circled him from the other side.

  The pit bull was too smart for that. He was trained, and I knew by whom.

  “Guys,” I called out.

  “Get inside, Tori,” Garrith demanded, keeping his back to me.

  This dog wouldn’t listen to them, and I wasn’t even sure if he would listen to me, but I had to try. “Listen to me, I know…”

  “Tori, get the hell out of here,” Brett yelled when he saw me coming closer.

  I huffed and took a deep breath. I braced myself and walked into the dog’s field of sight.

  Garrith and Brett yelled. Their cries of concern banged in my head, but I ignored them.

  I took a step towards the dog. “Hey, puppy. Do you remember me?” I kept my voice even as I stood before the large animal.

  The dog registered that I was talking to him, but his ears were still pulled back, deep growls erupting from his belly. Scars marred his big strong body. My heart broke at the sight of him. “What happened to you?”

  His eyes, though a bright yellow, were filled with so much hatred that I had to take a couple of deep breaths to keep from running away. The dog was bigger than I remembered. It could probably snap my neck with one bite. “Malvado.”

  The dogs’ ears twitched.

  “Malvado,” I repeated his name. “I remember telling you that you aren’t evil. Are you going to prove me wrong now?”

  The dog’s growls slowly simmered.

  I sat on the ground a couple feet away from him and took a couple more breaths. “Did he hurt you, puppy?” My voice cracked. The torture the animal must have gone through just about did me in.

  The dog took a step toward me and then another until he was inches from my face. He sniffed me, his hot breath caressing my skin.

  Sores marked his body, and something had taken a bite out of his ear. A sob escaped my lips, tears falling down my cheeks. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited when a hot wet tongue licked my cheek. I sighed with relief and slowly opened my eyes to Malvado sitting in front of me, panting. The hatred that was in his eyes a moment ago disappeared.

  I smiled and tentatively ran a hand over his head. He nuzzled and bumped my hand, taking another step toward me so he was practically in my lap. Resting his big body on my knees, he laid his head down and sighed. “You’re safe now. Nothing will happen to you. I promise.” I ran a hand over his scruffy coat.

  “Tori?” Garrith called. “That was fucking amazing.”

  I turned my head to Garrith and Brett looking at me and my new friend. “You guys can come closer.”

  They book took a couple of steps, and the body lying in my lap started vibrating. “Hey, shhh…it’s alright. They won’t hurt you.” I ran another caress down his back. “They’re friends.”

  I grabbed the chain collar around his neck and moved it until I found the tag.

  Malvado.

  I knew I was right and who he belonged to, but the confirmation brought me back to that night two years before.

  Cold, evil eyes…

  White hot pain as my skin burned…

  A large hand landed on my shoulder, making me jump.

  “You okay?” Brett asked, sitting down beside me.

  I nodded and wiped the tears away. Malvado had gotten huge in the last couple of years. The muscle on his strong body was definitely used for something other than puppy cuddles.

  Malvado raised his head and looked around at the two new people invading his space.
He looked at me, realizing I was okay, and then went back to resting.

  “Looks like you have a new guard dog on your hands.” Garrith scratched Malvado’s head and ears. Malvado let his tongue hang out, enjoying the attention.

  “Now that I think about it, a guard dog makes sense.”

  “How did you know how to handle him?” Garrith asked. “Which was very impressive by the way.”

  My cheeks heated, and looking between Brett and Garrith, I didn’t answer right away.

  I ran a hand over Malvado’s sleek black coat, and my vision blurred. “His name is Malvado.”

  “Okay…I see that on his name tag, but you acted like you knew him.” Garrith continued petting the dog, suspicion filling his voice.

  “What’s going on, Tori?” Brett pressed.

  “Malvado was at the apartment where Jose held me captive.” Bile rose in my throat as I forced the horrible memories to the back of my brain.

  Brett tensed beside me.

  Garrith stopped petting the dog. “Are you fucking telling me that this is Jose’s dog?”

  “Yes,” I choked out.

  Garrith cursed and got to his feet. He flipped open his phone and headed back to the house. “We have a situation.”

  “God, Tori.”

  I looked up at Brett as his eyes filled with sympathy. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I got away. Malvado didn’t, and look at him.”

  Brett ran a hand over the dog’s coat. “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to keep him of course.” Malvado’s ears perked up at that. He lifted his head and stood. He licked my face. I wrapped my arms around his thick neck and nuzzled into his side. “You have to protect me, puppy,” I whispered.

  A commotion came from the side of the house, sending Malvado on high alert. He turned to the noise and sat in front of me.

  “Smart dog,” Brett said, sounding impressed.

  Malvado’s head turned to him. The dog snorted and then faced back in the direction of the noise.

  “I think you just got told off by a dog,” I teased.

  Brett shook his head and rose. “I’m going to go see what’s going on.”

  “Tori, you need to go inside,” Garrith yelled, running from the side of the house.